(Minghui.org) I want to share a life-altering experience. I am a Doctor of Family Medicine. I first heard about Falun Dafa in October 2020 when my wife, while searching on the Epoch Times website, discovered this gift to the world. She shared it with me and the following weekend we met with a group of practitioners. We have been practicing ever since.
My medical practice has always consisted of managing my patients from a place of health by working with the laws of nature and accessing the source to facilitate healing in my patients. My background is the traditional form of Osteopathic Medicine and its practice. Without going into this in too much depth, Traditional Osteopathic Medicine has created a doorway in my life in which I have attained a medical degree and board certification in Family Medicine, but at the same time I have learned the miracles of nature... Falun Dafa is truly a breath of fresh air that synchronized with my life experience and opened my eyes to the principles of Zhen, Shan, Ren (Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance) and how crucial this is to our cultivation process.
In December of 2021, just before the Christmas holiday, I was challenged with a significant illness that I never experienced in my 56 years. I never get sick aside from maybe a mild stuffy nose and I never missed a day of work. I feel that the experience that I am about to describe was a challenge to my character and my ability to forebear and tolerate my fear as well as a clear indication that Master was testing and helping me get rid of karma.
Shortly before the Christmas holiday, I was asked to treat a patient who was the father of a patient in my practice. This man was in the hospital with COVID. He was diagnosed 3 weeks earlier and his condition was very grave. The family wanted him out of the hospital as they felt he would not receive the best care there and would die. They wanted to offer him alternative choices of treatment which the hospital refused to administer. I was asked to have him discharged. I did not know what I was getting myself into. I agreed to help.
We had him admitted to an Acute Care Pulmonary Rehabilitation Facility near my office. Over the next five days, I worked tirelessly, up to 14 hours a day, to see my office patients during the day, and then I went to the facility to treat this patient.
I became deeply attached to saving this man’s life. Over the next five days, he initially was getting better but quickly declined. On the last day, which was right before I was to leave for Christmas vacation, he was rushed back to the hospital. I felt defeated and helpless. He died two months later.
During those five days of caring for this patient, I drank a great deal of coffee to keep myself going up, to 14 hours a day.
On December 22, I left for vacation knowing that this patient was readmitted to the hospital. When I reached my destination, my wife immediately noticed how tired I was. I slept the entire day. When I woke up, I was suffering from intense fatigue and the most intense body aches and pain that I ever experienced in my life. At the time, I simply thought I could just sleep it off and it would be gone by the next day as this has been my experience in the past. My “sickness” lasted for over 10 days!
I never take medications and my diet has always been organic and mostly locally grown clean food. My wife took great care of me but as the days went by, she could see my frustration and fear that this was not going away. I thought I had COVID, but I refused to take a test. I treated many COVID patients, some who became seriously ill, but I managed to guide them through it and without hospitalization and they all survived.
My fear was getting the best of me. I thought of blood clots forming in my lungs or pneumonia or even death. I forced myself to practice the Falun Dafa exercises and go outside and walk. The pain in my body was so intense and the fear kept after me so I decided to prescribe myself Ivermectin. My wife was also getting frustrated. She had never seen me like this.
I was determined to get through this test and knew, even with my limited experience with Falun Dafa at that time, that Master was testing me. The medicine was on the bathroom counter and I looked at it every day but DID NOT take it. I eventually took a total of 3 aspirin and a few ibuprofen, but that was it.
I could not sleep due to the intense pain and night sweats. Every morning I woke up suffering. This went on for over 10 days! I kept asking when this was going to end. I told myself that I had to persevere and forebear. I continued to force myself to practice the exercises. I was determined to practice the exercises. Little by little I could find myself while practicing.
By about the 10th day, I felt something shift. I could feel a sense of stillness inside of me and I simply surrendered myself to the process. I accepted the fear and looked at it deeply. It dissolved. Then I recovered. I did not succumb to taking the medication.
Looking back, the experience forced me to learn about my attachments in trying to save someone’s life, which caused me to pick up karma. In the process I had to suffer for it in order to release it.
The Dafa qualities of Zhen, Shan, Ren were so clear to me and I knew that I was being tested. I had to adhere to the principles and force myself to get up and read the teachings and practice the exercises. I also had to be very clear of my own thought process and the interference coming in that consumed me with fear that tried to distract me. I suffered through it and am so grateful for the Fa, knowing that I persevered through this test. I was also determined not to take any medication and to trust my body, this was crucial to me. I simply accepted the pain and discomfort.
I have now begun to see more clearly what my purpose is, in helping others. My compassion for this patient was unwavering and the commitment that I have was clear; however, as Master states, “So practitioners should take all material gain lightly, pursue nothing, and let everything unfold naturally, thus avoiding the emergence of new attachments.” (Chapter III, Falun Gong)
In treating this patient I found that I had an expectation that something would change and the energy that I put into that was my own attachment and I suffered for it. Even my acceptance from the beginning in taking on this patient, when I look back and examine myself, was the idea that someone put that much faith in me to help them out of a crisis. That part was okay. My attachment and “feeling honored” was not. It went to my head and this is not a mark of good character. I felt important. This is not good!
Having faith in the Fa is crucial to cultivating through life and evolving and passing all the tests that are happening every day, in my interactions with ordinary people. My clinical practice and the way I conduct it is a very fine line as my interaction with my patients has to be clear and without the intention of my trying to save them. This is especially important when I place my hands on them. I am so grateful to Master for this.
I have found that my faith is crucial in helping others without compromising them or myself. Most importantly, again as Master states, “We ultimately want to achieve the state of nothingness and emptiness, and be rid of every attachment.” (Chapter III, Falun Gong)
The Fa has opened my eyes to the depths of this universe and to the seriousness of cultivation. There are many dimensions outside of us that have a direct impact on our actions. I force myself to look inside in every situation that I am faced with in my life and to let go of my attachments as well as to be aware if any interference and conduct myself as a true practitioner.
This has not been easy. This brush with illness has been a serious lesson for me, a necessary and crucial lesson that helped me move forward in my cultivation process. Bearing hardship is a pathway to get there, but understanding the Fa principles and improving xinxing is the key. The Fa pushed me through this illness as a result of myself looking inside. In addition it has helped me understand how my attachments have created karma and that cultivation is a very serious matter.
Thank you, Master!
(Presented at the 2023 Mid-US Fa Conference)
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