(Minghui.org) My father was illiterate, introverted, irritable, narrow-minded, envious, suspicious, and wore a scowl on his face all day. On the other hand, my mother was hardworking, honest, magnanimous, optimistic, and respectful in her interactions with others. This was my family environment from a young age.
I constantly monitored my father’s words and expressions, fearing that any small matter might upset him. He often berated my mother and even threw things around. My father did nothing productive and just lived to create chaos. My mother had to endure both my father’s abuse and the burden of raising us four siblings, which left her exhausted and plagued by illness.
As a child in that environment, I was unhappy and filled with resentment. I resented my father’s mistreatment of my mother, his lack of affection for us, and his incompetence. I even wished for his early demise, believing it would bring us peace.
I frequently lamented my fate, questioning why I was born into a family that was filled with sorrow. I feared for my mother’s suffering, and this was my greatest agony. I yearned to grow up quickly so I could find a kind and honest man to marry and take my mother with me. Eventually, when it came time for me to marry, my grandmother and aunt helped me find a kind and honest man. However, a problem arose; I disliked him deep down. I resented his lack of height and good looks, as well his perceived lack of abilities and achievements. But due to various pressures, I reluctantly married him.
With a strong will and a knack for success, I was determined to always come out on top. This extended to my academic pursuits and career, making me an accomplished individual. However, in interpersonal relationships, I struggled. I inherited my father’s irritable nature, being unforgiving when in the right, harboring resentment, and possessing strong jealousy. When I saw other women who married handsome and successful men, and lived lives of luxury, I resented not having a capable husband myself. I held these standards of success and prominence above all else. My husband failed to meet these high expectations, leading me to resent him, belittle him, curse him, and even wish for his death.
During that time, I mistreated not only my husband but also my family members. We belonged to a large family. My sister-in-law cooked for me and if the food was too salty or bland, I would quarrel with her. She both feared and resented me, but was unable to stand up to my behavior.
After I began to practice Falun Dafa, a woman selling insurance visited our home. My sister-in-law told her, “My sister-in-law practices Falun Dafa now; otherwise, I wouldn’t dare say this. Before, I was afraid to even hear her voice, fearing a scolding for any slight transgression. I bought a small electric rice cooker and cooked in my upstairs bathroom to avoid eating with her. To be honest, I was not afraid of my husband but very afraid of her.”
My daughter also once said, “Mom, others call you a tigress or a demon, but they dare not say it to your face, fearing your scolding.” Before I practiced Falun Dafa, I lived in a constant state of resentment, feeling imprisoned by my emotions, and suffered greatly. I couldn’t eat or sleep, and over time, this accumulated resentment led to various health issues.
In the spring of 1999, while seeking medical solutions and feeling lost, I was fortunate to receive the book Zhuan Falun and learn the five sets of Dafa exercises. In just one week, my physical pain disappeared completely. I realized through studying the teachings that suffering and illness were the results of my karma, and my actions have consequences. I began to control my behavior and follow the principles of Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance, treating everyone kindly, including my husband. Looking back at my past behavior, I felt guilty and understood the burden I had placed on my family.
In terms of personal interests, I became more detached from them. I considered others first in my actions, avoiding conflicts and seeking harmony. I was involved in several accidents but didn’t ask for compensation. When shopping, I didn’t haggle, and when our ancestral home was inherited, I didn’t quarrel with my younger brother over it. I rented out properties at reduced rates during the pandemic or construction periods.
I underwent a tremendous transformation by shedding my negative traits. People found this change unbelievable and hard to comprehend. Some laughed at me, calling me foolish, but I shrugged it off. Others mocked the loss of my youth and freedom, but I faced it without regret.
In today’s morally declining world, where right and wrong are blurred, it is extraordinary that I managed to remain virtuous and untainted, rising above the muck and mire. Who possesses such immense power to provoke such profound change, steering people away from the wrong path and guiding them towards the righteous? I proudly proclaim that it is my compassionate and great Master, Li Hongzhi, who pulled me from the depths of hell, cleansed me, restored my health, and guided me onto the path of righteousness.
As Master’s Fa-rectification draws to a close, I will cherish each day and moment bestowed by His immense sacrifice. I will diligently cultivate, fulfill my mission, and repay the immense grace of my compassionate Master!
Copyright © 2023 Minghui.org. All rights reserved.
